how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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