either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
