Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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