I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
