whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
