What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
