I think I am morally bankrupt
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
