help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
