just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
