Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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