Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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