I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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