I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
