So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
