Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
