Christians are straight up FREAKS
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
