we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
