hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
