when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
