The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
