Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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