He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
