Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
