youre lurking in front of me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
