Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
