Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
