Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize