Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
