Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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