So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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