I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
