I think my vagina is haunted
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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