I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
