Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize