I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
