just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
