OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize