some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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