You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
