spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
