So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
