her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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