The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
