Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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