She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
