I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
