i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
