I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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