When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
