true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
