I need help removing her.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
