Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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