I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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