i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
