He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
