You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
