About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
