all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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