We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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