id be glad to
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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