1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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