I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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