come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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