just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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