Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
