So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
