come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
