yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Everything about him screamed your future.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
