Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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