you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
