i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
