Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
