I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
