Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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