would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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