i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize