I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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