I just pynch a tree in the face
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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