So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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