he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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