we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
