I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
