I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize