having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
