u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize