Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
