I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
