found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
