Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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