3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
