I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
