Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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