Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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